Thoughts on What Not to Do: A Guide to Better Relationships

Sometimes, success in life isn’t just about what you do—it's about what you don't do. Many people will read this and think these strategies are for manipulation, but let me be clear: that’s not the point. Manipulation never works, and people will always see through fake behavior. A house of cards may stand for a while, but eventually, it crumbles. So, let's talk about authentic ways to build stronger connections with others.

1. Don’t Tell Someone They’re Wrong

If you’re trying to influence or persuade someone, telling them they’re wrong is a sure way to trigger their defenses. People don’t like to be told they’re wrong—especially when they’re convinced otherwise. Instead, try saying something like, “I understand why you feel that way. If I were in your shoes, I’d probably feel the same.” Then, calmly and respectfully present your perspective. And if the issue isn’t crucial, let them have their win. You’ll be respected for it. You don’t have to fight every battle. Sometimes, letting others be right is the true victory.

2. Only Give Criticism When It's Invited—and Do It Thoughtfully

No one likes unsolicited criticism, and it’s never a good idea to give it when you're angry. Timing and context are key. Always ask yourself, “Is this going to help or hurt?” If you must give advice, don’t come off as preachy. Instead, use your own experiences as examples: “This worked for me when…” or “I found it easier to…” This keeps the conversation humble and approachable. And remember, critique the behavior, not the person. Offer a solution and move on—don’t dwell on mistakes.

3. Never “One-Up” Others

We’ve all met those people who, when you share an accomplishment, respond with, “Well, I did this, too, but better.” It’s exhausting. Nobody likes a “one-upper.” If someone shares something positive, simply acknowledge it. “Congratulations!” or “Great job!” will go a long way. Show genuine interest in their journey by asking how they achieved it. This not only makes them feel valued, but it also fosters a deeper, more authentic connection.

4. Master the Art of Language

Words are powerful tools. As the saying goes, “The right word can turn an enemy into a friend, and the wrong word can turn a friend into an enemy.” How you speak—whether it’s what you say or how you say it—can shape your relationships. Be intentional with your words. Learn the power of kindness, empathy, and tact. Your ability to communicate well can open doors you never imagined.

5. Don’t Fear Change—Embrace It

If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done. For many of us, that means being more tactful, more considerate, and kinder. Yes, there will always be people who oppose your efforts to be better, but that's part of the journey. Learn to recognize those who drain you and avoid them. Surround yourself with people who encourage your growth.

Final Thoughts

In life, sometimes the best strategy isn’t about what you do—it’s about the things you don’t do. Avoid being fake. Skip the one-upmanship. Practice kindness in your words. When you do this, not only will you make others feel valued, but you’ll build stronger, more meaningful connections that last.

Remember: Life isn’t just about striving to be the best—it’s about being your best, and treating others the way you'd want to be treated.

~ Written by: @AskForCorey